a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
