I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
