NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
