South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
