What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
