What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
from now on my penis is your penis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
