And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize