I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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