Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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