OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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