Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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