Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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