Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
