READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need a beard to bite.
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