Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize