roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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