I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
