"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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