I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
