I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
