i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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