Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
