i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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