I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
