Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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