Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
