I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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