the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
