I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
