oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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