Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
