I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
