Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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