whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
