I got chris browned last night
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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