I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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