A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
