If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
