is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I understand Curling. That high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
