He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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