It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
