Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
