just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
