Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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