Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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