the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
