worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
