think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize