At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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