I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
