everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
