What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
