Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
