sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
