I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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