yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize