absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
