its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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