She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
