M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
