I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
