I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Couch. On fire.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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